life wasted

another room... again from the past... this time you are alone... you sit there staring at the bright light that seems to have consumed your life... thoughts wander... from what has been to what will be... you continue to stare into the bright light... a figure walks past the room, takes you to be working... walks ahead...
increasing the aperture you seem to have been sitting there all day... something occupies your mind... you can't quite figure what it is... you are restless... time seems be ticking faster than you'd expect... you wish to have been somewhere else... you wish to have been doing something else... in fact there is a lot you wish you had done... you still continue to stare at the bright light... you know you are on the wrong path... this is not what you wished you had chosen... up ahead you see a brightly lit colourful path... but you do not wish to continue... there was a turn somewhere that you missed... which looked all dark but that is where you wanted to be...
meanwhile... you sit and stare into that bright light... you can still get to that path you have wanted all along... this time its more uphill through thick bushes with thorns... you still continue to stare into the bright light... hoping it will somehow suddenly put you where u have wanted to be...
there are just desperate attempts by you to be somewhere else... these attempts get you nowhere... you are not trying hard enough... you really cant cos you are lost... just head in one direction you'll know if it is the right one... cos you are making no sense!